Happy Holidays from some of your favorite phone sex girls 2014

Be good to your girls and be a Phone Sex Santa this year! Click here to find out how.

 

 
 

 

 

If Santa answered his mail truthfully .................

 

Dear Santa,
      I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
                          Love, Teddy

 
Dear Teddy,

     Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
                         Santa

 
****************************************************
 Dear Santa,
      I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
                        Love, Francis

 
Dear Francis,
     Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
                         Santa

 
****************************************************

Dear Santa,
      I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
                         Love, Sarah

 Dear Sarah,
     Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
                         Santa

 ****************************************************

 Dear Santa,
      I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for  your reindeer outside the back door.
                        Love, Susan

 
Dear Susan,
     Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
                          Santa

 ****************************************************
 Dear Santa,
      What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
                         Your friend, Tho mas

 Dear Tho mas,
      All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
                        Santa

 ****************************************************
 Dear Santa,
      Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
                       Love, Jessica

 Dear Jessica,
      Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
                        Santa

 ****************************************************
 Dear Santa,
     I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
                        Love, Timmy

 
Dear Timmy,
      That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
                        Santa


 ****************************************************

 Dearest Santa,
     We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
                        Love, Marky

 Dear Mark,
     First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
                       Sweet dreams,
                       Santa

****************************************************

   

 

   

Give yourself a two girl call this holiday season!


 

How Christmas Works - Everything you ever wanted to know about Christmas
 

            


CHRISTMAS WARNING...

Christmas has been canceled.

It's all YOUR fault!

You told Santa that you were GOOD this year.



AND HE DIED LAUGHING! 

You will find more adult Christmas humor at:

 http://www.toilette-humor.com/christmas/funny_christmas_cartoons.shtml

ENJOY and have a

*** Merry Christmas ***
 

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